Are you giving up on love?
Ending a romantic relationship or giving up on love is indeed a difficult task. Moreover, it is one of many people dread. They are reluctant to shatter another person’s ego by telling them that they no longer want to be in a relationship with them and perhaps no longer love them.
Most people handled this painful task face to face. They would gather their courage and tell their former partner that it is over now. That’s still the way but many people also do it via email or texting that he is giving up on love.
Romantic Relationships And The Mystery Of Love
While not everyone would agree that love is the only ingredient necessary for personal pleasure, most would accept the idea that it is one of the most important components.
Countless singers, novelists, and poets would concur. But what, precisely, is love?
What Role Does Love Play In Romantic Relationships?
How does it develop? Does it develop naturally from other relationships, or is it something special that occurs when the “right” two people meet, the “bolt of lightning” that strikes unexpectedly and without warning?
And what are the circumstances when partners giving up on love?
We begin with a discussion of love, and turn its rule in giving up on love relationships.
Love:
Most people agree that love plays a key role in our lives and our personal happiness.
It is a familiar experience in many (but not all) cultures and recent studies indicate that almost three out of four Americans say they are currently “in love”.
Love is an emotional reluctant to shatter ‘reaction that seems as basic as sadness, happiness, and fear. In fact, love may actually be good for you in terms of psychological adjustment.
Passionate Love:
It involves an intense and often unrealistic emotional reaction to another person.
Passionate love usually begins as a sudden, overwhelming, surging, all-consuming positive reaction to another person, a reaction that feels as if it’s beyond control.
You can be sexually attracted to someone without being in love. For many people, love makes sex more acceptable a sexual activity tends to be romanticized.
Causes Of Giving Up On Love (Why Relationships Fail)
Most people enter a relationship with high hopes and very positive views of their partner yet more than 50% of marriages and relationships in the United States and many other countries end in divorce and giving up on love.
In other words, people expect their own relationships to succeed despite them giving up on love.
Problems Between Partners Caused Giving Up On Love
One factor is the failure to understand the reality of a relationship.
That is, no person is perfect. No matter how ideal the other person may have seemed through the mist of romantic images. It eventually becomes obvious that he or she has negative qualities as well as positive ones.
For example, there is a disappointing discovery that the actual similarity between partners is less than the assumed similarity.
Also, over time, negative personality characteristics in one’s partner e.g. selfishness, a bad temper, and chronic sloppiness may become less and less tolerable.
Minor personality and flaws that once seemed acceptable can come to be perceived as annoying and unlikable.
Compromise To Avoid Caused Giving Up On Love
Some problems experienced by couples are universal and probably unavoidable because being in any kind of close relationship involves some degree of compromise.
When you are alone, you can do as you wish, which is one important reason why many people choose to remain single, or why people who have been in a relationship that ends sometimes choose not to enter another one.
When two people are together, however, they must somehow decide what to eat for dinner, watch TV and which programs to watch, whether to have sex right now or some other time, the list of decisions and compromises is endless. Because both partners have needs and preferences. There is an inevitable conflict between the desire for independence and the need for closeness.
Disagreements and conflicts are essentially inevitable, what becomes crucial are how those conflicts are handled and at last, this relationship ends on giving up on love.
Perceiving Love-Or At Least Approval-As Contingent On Success
Another problem that troubles many long-term relationships is a growing tendency on the part of one or both partners to perceive that their partner’s love and approval are linked to external success, achievements in their careers, jobs or at school.
In other words, partners come to expect that their partners will be kind and loving and express approval of them only when they are successful. Such beliefs can badly erode even very loving relationships.
Even worse, such perceptions may be especially likely to develop among people low in self-esteem. For people low in self-esteem, personal failures on the job or at school spilled over into their relationships, causing them to feel less accepted and more rejected by their partners. Clearly, to the extent such effects occur; they can be devastating for relationship happiness.
Jealousy: An Internal Threat To Relationships
Jealousy has often been described as the “green-eyed monster” and with good reason. Feelings of jealousy concern that a romantic partner or another person about whom we care deeply might transfer their affection or loyalty to another are deeply distressing.
While most people think about jealousy primarily in connection with a romantic relationship with another person is threatened by a rival. But despite this fact, it seems clear that jealousy may exert its strongest and most dangerous effects in the context of romantic triads.
One person becomes jealous of the possibility that his or her partner is a major factor in a large proportion of homicides against women.
We should note, of course, that jealousy is just one reason why romantic relationships end.
How To Save Your Love-Some Tips And Tricks
As a human, we should try our best to save our love. One should do his best to make your relations long-lasting. In this article, I have explained many reasons and some steps to make your relationship better. If you follow these steps I assure you can save your love.
Building A Stronger Relationship-Making Them Last And Happy
What makes a relationship succeed?
How we can avoid giving up on love?
Factors such as high levels of similarity between the partners in a relationship are a plus and so too are certain personal characteristics e.g. a secure attachment style, caring and positive feelings (implicit or explicit) toward one’s partner. While there are no simple “no-fail” tactics for achieving these goals. There are some suggestions to save giving up on love.
Knowing What Behaviors Enhance Relationships
Building strong and satisfying a relationship is very basic. It is very important to know what behaviors build relationships and what behaviors do not. This sounds so basic that your first reaction might be,
“Doesn’t everyone know what is good for relationships and what is bad for them?”
While some people recognize that noticing a partner’s moods and asking about these feelings helps to build relationships. And some recognize that “ignoring other people in the street” is not crucial to relationships, others think it is just as important as being sensitive to the partner’s emotions and needs.
Be Supportive And Attachment
Relationship-building behavior is the motivation to attain a supportive partner. If you are close to giving up on love then you should change your behavior.
You should be more careful and supportive of your partner. Attachment style seems to play an important role in the extent to which individuals learn to recognize relationship-enhancing behaviors.
Individuals must increase their understanding of what actions on their part and by their part help to strengthen such relationships and then they must actually perform them.
Being Positive
It is better in terms of building positive feelings between the partners by such actions as praising them often, expressing confidence in them.
And attributing any negative actions on their part to factors beyond their control or focusing on dealing with important problems.
When you are giving up on love and you want to save your relationship, then your behavior with your partner must be positive.
Praise your partner. In other words up to a point, expressing positive feelings about your partner and viewing them favorably does strengthen relationships.
“In the past it was widely believed (on the basis of research findings) that to build strong relationships, couples should always express positive feelings and thoughts. Recent evidence, however, indicates that a more balance approach that permits the couples to address important problems may actually be better.”
Go For A Movie Night
If your partner is angry with you and you want to save your relationship. Plan a movie night with your love. If the movie is romantic then it will be a plus point.
Try to solve your problems and misunderstandings with him/her. After the movie goes for dinner in some calm and romantic place.
Giving Only What You Receive Or Giving What Your Partner Needs
Love, most people agree, should simply care as much for one’s partner as for oneself.
Many relationships begin this way, with both partners promising that they will always love and cherish one another (I always love you, I’ll always make you happy) for many couples.
This is gradually replaced with an approach that is based on social exchange or reciprocity:
“I’ll do things for you, but only if you give me equal benefit in return.”
The return benefit does not have to involve the same activities e.g. it does not have to be “you do the dishes tonight, and I’ll do them tomorrow.
Maintain Love’s Illusions
Most couples start their relationships with very positive feelings about their chosen partners. After all, they are in love.
In addition, they often hold very positive beliefs concerning each other, beliefs that are often inflated.
They view each other as possessing more positive characteristics and being much closer to perfect than is actually the case.
Do such positive illusions lead to disaster to becoming disillusioned with and disappointed in one’s partner?
Couples who begin their relationships with idealized views of each other usually develop more satisfying and happier relationships than those who do not. More important maintaining such illusions over time seems to encourage the strengthening of the relationship.
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Conclusion
The overall conclusion is that a happy relationship is within most people’s grasp if they are willing to expend the effort needed to attain them.
The differences in couples are relative. Most couples show some decline in satisfaction over time.
Especially when the couples face serious problems, life events require that they come to grips with problems rather than just make each other feel good or happy.
“Couple experiencing severe problems may benefit from thoughts and behaviors that motivate them to directly address and resolve the problems”.
Such a balance helps to strengthen relationships and to make them mutually satisfying over the long haul of giving up on love.